you probably have heard it or read it before

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

beep beep stall hello? shoe size 10 wire hanger and drum roll stomach dishes to wash

One more day left in this year. Finally 2008 is ending. Lately I haven't been dividing time into its generalized classifications. I have been living in this day by day goto sleep when I'm tired (usually around 6 AM) and wake up and get out of bed when it happens (approximately 3 PM). 

I finished a new recording. I believe its about 15-20 minutes long? 3 tracks of synthesizer/oscillator drone and pulse manipulation record on tape. I'm finally satisfied with a recording I did.  I'm just a bit upset that my 4-track Reel-to-Reel tape machine isn't recording on its fourth track.  It's rather annoying. I had to combine my last 2 tracks into the third channel(left side)... blah.

I'll probably transfer it to tape when I wake up or in 2009. 

I can't stop checking out the VVORK blog .  Well, I guess I've doing that for about 2 years now.

And I'm leaving for Boston for about a week in 12 hours. FUN! 

NERVE NET NOISE!



okay. bye blog and readers, bye 2008.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

when you sleep

bed at 7:44 am.

my bloody valentine playing on my computer to me. i just wrote a 4 page long letter to my mother. i hope its well received. or moreover i hope she understands.

i like write better than i type. 
i might type faster though. 
ah, whatever.

it just is.

7:49 now.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

i need to relax



need to get my sleep schedule straightened out.





i also talk on Skype a lot. a lot.



Sunday, November 30, 2008

"LIFEWITHOUTME" a new russian film directed by joseph john piece of waste.

another horrid day in the night of joseph john.

what to do with myself?

the majority of all people are completely inadequate to even communicate with.

the majority of the people I communicate with are inadequate to me.



FOOL

Saturday, November 29, 2008

shake rattle and roll.

Joseph Sledgianowski
7:57 PM
hello
8:00 PM

i hate today
8:01 PM

it all started because i cannot drink grapefruit juice
8:01 PM

yeah i have epilepsy
8:01 PM

yeah i have to take wonder drugs
8:02 PM

yeah these drugs cause reactions with of all things grapefruit and grapefruit juice.
8:02 PM

i bet these drugs dont even work
8:03 PM

convincing people
8:03 PM

what a wonderful job.
8:03 PM

pump them full of saline then tell them to take that wonder placebo.
8:04 PM

gloreous life i live.

Monday, November 24, 2008

homeland.

I'm now living in New Jersey. What an interesting and often boring situation. I moved down here.... 
yes.

My depression hit a nice point tonight. such an awkward situation I guess I allowed myself to be brought into. A party of eccentric children, I believe I was the only sober person there.
I saw 3- 5 people I actually wanted or could feel comfortable around. Just wondering around, staring off into the void of worthless them.  I am the follower I needed a latch, my care was below all of them's recognition. No worry. 

It is so interesting this grapevine as some call it how the secondhand information revolving, weaving in, in and out. Does it feel good? Molest collection felt me the need doesn't and I hear this ignorance,  just profusely augment Joseph John Sledgianowski's disdain. Fucked. Go to it and speak. I know. Come on this is it, it is exactly what I am saying, what this is that I am exactly saying says it on and on it I am it.  

rationally grounded commonsense. All that is implied and outspoken that I eventually welcome, entertain, - idealism. Thank you.










people.

hey,
who reads this? 
i'm interested. 
can you comment and tell me?
i would be happy to find out.


Monday, October 27, 2008

awis

   4 hits while I'm asleep.
                              I piss
   I know its from withdrawal. 

I should probably just stop leaving my room.




why am I talking to a blog?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

talk to me. listen to me. talk to me. listen to me.

Ethanol is the most widely used depressant in the world, and has been for thousands of years. This sense underlies the term alcoholism (addiction to alcohol).






wake up in that alleyway with your pants at you ankles, orifices crusted with this 




"click"


"click"













baby, weren't we just exchanging secrets?




Saturday, October 11, 2008

3 in a month.





























I'm sitting on a hospital bed here at Beth Israel Medical Center. I had another seizure immediately upon exiting the school after work at 7:30. I banged up my head and hip quite a bit. I would really like to get out of here and goto sleep in my own bed. We just discussed that its almost mandatory that I make a sooner appointment to see my neurologist, like this Tuesday, and if I can't see her then I can schedule with the Urgent-Care Neurology Dept. here at Beth Israel. 

I am going to take the week off of school and I might drop a class. I really don't want to die.


woops. well.

 This is me. I was on a stupid vice website. Why am I always getting photographed and thrown online and into photo webzine cool hip burger with sausage.  McSwizzle. Pommes McFrites                                        Yes ma'am   '..gziz..'  maybe I should just drink myself to sleep and write a report on testosterone instead of human universals and primate societies.                                              love me god, love me.                                love me.

yeah my life. ugh.

oh this.

I have a blog. I forgot. I think I will start writing, ahem, typing in it again. I guess I only posted once previously, but this feels a bit more personal than houseofquality so maybe I can do what I want to do here. Probably not. Whatever. 

I will most likely have a nervous breakdown within the next 48 hours. It will be interesting. I mean my mental functioning not the actual activities. 

I've gotten into this motion of just basically ignoring mostly everything or distracting myself from whatever it is so I don't pay too much attention, get too attached, etc. It has interesting effects; I don't remember much, generally peoples' names, past experiences people bring up, a great deal of trivial information. Possibly I'm just afraid of some sort of overload. I feel so limited now.