you probably have heard it or read it before

Monday, October 27, 2008


   4 hits while I'm asleep.
                              I piss
   I know its from withdrawal. 

I should probably just stop leaving my room.

why am I talking to a blog?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

talk to me. listen to me. talk to me. listen to me.

Ethanol is the most widely used depressant in the world, and has been for thousands of years. This sense underlies the term alcoholism (addiction to alcohol).

wake up in that alleyway with your pants at you ankles, orifices crusted with this 



baby, weren't we just exchanging secrets?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

3 in a month.

I'm sitting on a hospital bed here at Beth Israel Medical Center. I had another seizure immediately upon exiting the school after work at 7:30. I banged up my head and hip quite a bit. I would really like to get out of here and goto sleep in my own bed. We just discussed that its almost mandatory that I make a sooner appointment to see my neurologist, like this Tuesday, and if I can't see her then I can schedule with the Urgent-Care Neurology Dept. here at Beth Israel. 

I am going to take the week off of school and I might drop a class. I really don't want to die.

woops. well.

 This is me. I was on a stupid vice website. Why am I always getting photographed and thrown online and into photo webzine cool hip burger with sausage.  McSwizzle. Pommes McFrites                                        Yes ma'am   '..gziz..'  maybe I should just drink myself to sleep and write a report on testosterone instead of human universals and primate societies.                                              love me god, love me.                                love me.

yeah my life. ugh.

oh this.

I have a blog. I forgot. I think I will start writing, ahem, typing in it again. I guess I only posted once previously, but this feels a bit more personal than houseofquality so maybe I can do what I want to do here. Probably not. Whatever. 

I will most likely have a nervous breakdown within the next 48 hours. It will be interesting. I mean my mental functioning not the actual activities. 

I've gotten into this motion of just basically ignoring mostly everything or distracting myself from whatever it is so I don't pay too much attention, get too attached, etc. It has interesting effects; I don't remember much, generally peoples' names, past experiences people bring up, a great deal of trivial information. Possibly I'm just afraid of some sort of overload. I feel so limited now.